Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.

My goal in life is to have a Wikipedia page written about me. Maybe just a newspaper article. Ok, I'd accept a journal entry.

life, n.: A whim of several billion cells to be you for a while

I am going to need some of you to get weirder. I can't keep pulling all the weight.

I wish I knew where I stored my old turntable. Just for my records.

The number of red lights you will hit while driving are directly proportional to how bad you have to pee.