Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I've finally decided to do something about my weight. Lie

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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy

I don't know if my pants are feeling loose because I'm losing weight or the elastic is finally giving up the fight.
After reading the negative effects of drinking and smoking, I decided to quit reading.
"You Only Live Once" is also an equally compelling reason not to do something extreme or stupid.
If something's not going right, try left.
I don't understand why I can't lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.
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