Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Pepsi and Coca Cola can't even be in the same restaurant, and we want World peace?

Procrastination is a dish best served eventually.

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make 1 wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit.

I'd call you a tool, but even they serve a purpose.

Our child has a great deal of willpower—and even more won't power.

In reality, plants are actually farming us, by giving us oxygen daily, until we eventually decompose, so they can consume us.