Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I'm old enough to know better, but silly enough to still think I can do it anyway.

I think I managed to fix my friend's broken microphone. Still waiting for some feedback.

I grilled a chicken last night... He still wouldn't tell me why he crossed the road..

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

Learn from Pandora's mistake—think outside the box.

If you think things can't get worse, it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.