Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Think about it - every single corpse on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person. Stay lazy my friends.

My friend said his favorite Star Wars quote was, "Aargh Luke, ye scurvy dog, I be yer father." I think he got a pirated copy

I'm beginning to think the only reason I buy bananas is to watch them die a painful death on my counter.

Laughter is the best medicine... unless you have broken ribs.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

My friend composes ditties about sewing machines. She's a singer songwriter