Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
* puts a bunch of sparklers on the counter *
"How much for the angry incense?"
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Some people know the rules for playing the game Battleship and some people don't. It's pretty much hit or miss.
It's shocking how much unhappiness is caused by the pressure to be happy.
I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is much more fun.
"I ran a half marathon" sounds so much better than "I quit halfway through a marathon."
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
I really want to start a new diet, but I've got too much on my plate right now.
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