Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I love going outdoors. It is much safer than going out windows.

I snacked on Sodium Chloride and Acetic Acid chips last night.
Trust me, they tasted much better than it sounds.

I'm beginning to think the only reason I buy bananas is to watch them die a painful death on my counter.

I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.

"Latte" is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.

I used to teach origami. Gave it up. Too much paperwork.