Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Science Tip: You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether it sees you later or in a while.

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.

I am writing a book about all the things I should be doing in my life. It's an oughtobiography.

Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.

Life's greatest tragedy is that we grow old too soon, and wise too late.

I am pretty sure I only need one more bad decision and I will have a whole set.