Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Why don't we wait for life on other planets to find us? Why do we have to do all the work?

LIFEHACK: be born very wealthy

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and if that doesn't work out, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

I used to teach origami. Gave it up. Too much paperwork.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.