Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Why are iPhone chargers not called Apple Juice?!

I can worry about more than one thing at once. It's called multitasking.

Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?

Someone stole my bike, so I called the police, and they found the thief. He was arrested for peddling stolen goods.

I don't believe in astrology. I'm a Libra and we're skeptical.

Whoever determined a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.