Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I'm old enough to know better, but silly enough to still think I can do it anyway.

I hate when homeless people shake their cup of coins at me. It's like yeah, I know you have more money than me — no need to rub it in.

I don't need Google, my wife knows everything.

I'm old enough to know better but young enough to do it anyway.

I don't need Google. My wife knows everything.

My dentist just told me
I need a crown.....
I know, right??