Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
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Somebody keeps sending me flowers with the heads cut off. I feel like I am being stalked.
I just want to be rich enough to be referred to as eccentric instead of just crazy.
My bed and I have a special relationship. We're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
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