Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Why do bees hum? Because they can never remember the words.

My ability to remember song lyrics from the 80's far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the kitchen.

I haven't slept for three days, because that would be too long.

Embracing the chaos, mostly because the calm was charging a cover fee

Doing nothing is so hard because you never know when you are done.

I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.