Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
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Sarcasm helps keep people from understanding you're saying what you really think of them.
I just broke my record for most days on earth. High five!
Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds really fun if you don't know what either of those two things are.
I have a condition that makes me eat when I can't sleep. It's called Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.
Grrr! Autocorrect is really starting to irrigate me!
My wallet is like an onion - when I open it, it makes me cry
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