Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

If the Earth were flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

When I was young we were so poor, we sometimes only had bits of old rope to eat... I would often skip lunch

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we would all sleep in toasters.

I would like to officially declare Mondays as optional.

Doctor: "I'd like to talk to you about your weight." Me: "Well, it was 25 minutes, but at least the chairs were comfortable."

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets.