Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Someone stole my bike, so I called the police, and they found the thief. He was arrested for peddling stolen goods.

I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant because I believe in myself.

Pepsi and Coke can't even be in the same restaurant together and society wants us all to get along?

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

The curtains were drawn, but the rest of the room was real.

Someone stole my bike. I called the cops and they found the thief. He was arrested for peddling stolen goods.