Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Just between you and me, I think "everything" bagels are making a lot of promises they can't keep.

God created the world. Everything else is made in China.

Procrastination is a dish best served eventually.

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

You can't believe everything you hear—but you can repeat it.

In reality, plants are actually farming us, by giving us oxygen daily, until we eventually decompose, so they can consume us.