Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Common sense is like deodorant; the people who need it most never use it.

I hate when homeless people shake their cup of coins at me. It's like yeah, I know you have more money than me — no need to rub it in.

People who say "I hate to bother you" need to learn to hate it a little bit more.

Lance is a pretty uncommon name these days, but in medieval times, people were named lance a lot.

Some people say I'm addicted to somersaults, but that's just how I roll.

I used to fear tall people. Now I look up to them.