Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

After the doctor left the room from my prostate exam. The nurse came in with three words I didn't want to hear. "Who was that?"

Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

I told a joke in my Zoom meeting today. It wasn't even remotely funny.

I live by my own rules... that my wife has reviewed, revised and then approved. BUT STILL MY OWN RULES!!!!

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets.