Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I snacked on Sodium Chloride and Acetic Acid chips last night.
Trust me, they tasted much better than it sounds.

I said I was good at making decisions. I didn't say the decisions I made were good.

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.

"Latte" is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.

I used to teach origami. Gave it up. Too much paperwork.