Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I saw an elderly man at the supermarket collecting shopping carts. He must have been pushing 70.

Algebra must have been easy for the Romans. X was always 10.

I got mood poisoning. Must have been something I hate.

I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn't work out.

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.