Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I saw an elderly man at the supermarket collecting shopping carts. He must have been pushing 70.

Algebra must have been easy for the Romans. X was always 10.

I found stir-fry on my bed this morning. I must have been sleep wokking again.

I lost my mood ring. I am unsure how I feel about it.

If something's not going right, try left.

I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.