Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now.
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People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just don’t want to talk.
I'll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way.
I wanted to give my Uber driver advice instead of cash,
but that wouldn't be fare.
If people were meant to pop out of bed, we would all sleep in toasters.
My dog used to chase people on a bike. It got so bad, I had to take his bike away.
It's shocking how much unhappiness is caused by the pressure to be happy.
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