Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

Sarcasm helps keep people from understanding you're saying what you really think of them.

I hate it when people think they can just waltz into my office, when what I am listening to is clearly in 4/4.

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking outside of the box.

I like to think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram.

Just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move.