Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

I keep asking what LGBTQ+ stands for, but I never get a straight answer.

A perfectionist walked into a bar...apparently, the bar wasn't set high enough.

I can do all things through spite, which strengthens me.