Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Embracing the chaos, mostly because the calm was charging a cover fee

Doing nothing is so hard because you never know when you are done.

I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.

Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.

I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant because I believe in myself.

I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do, it's because I've missed my exit.