Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Dove chocolates taste way better than their soap.

My brain is currently experiencing technical difficulties. Please try again later.

I really want to start a new diet, but I've got too much on my plate right now.

My boss said "You are late to work for the third time this week. Do you know what that means?" "It's Wednesday?", I replied.

I wanted to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now.

I'm currently helping my son search the house for the chocolate I ate last night.