Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I was going to tell a joke about time travel but nobody laughed.

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

I was going to post a joke about sodium... But Na.

I told my plants a joke and now the fern is looking at me weird.

NASA is launching a satellite to say sorry to the extraterrestrials. They're calling it the Apollo G.

People are so judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.