Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Due to recent budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"

I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.

If silly putty would have applied itself, it could have been serious putty.

I saw an elderly man at the supermarket collecting shopping carts. He must have been pushing 70.