Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

The cashiers in this town keep checking me out.

I lost the volume control knob on my antique radio. I keep checking the Lost and Found to see if anything turns up.

Welcome to our "ool", notice there is no "P" in it, let's keep it that way.

Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you will find a brain back there.

There is a new vegetarian "meat" product out. They named it Incogmeato.

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.