Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I would like to say that comforters are better than quilts, but I don't like to make blanket statements.

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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy

If I could say a few words, I would be a better public speaker.

Please don't make my funeral too early. I'm not really a mourning person.

Remember, if you can't say something nice, make it funny.

I wouldn't say you're stupid. You are, but I wouldn't say it.

I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes – and six months later you have to start all over again.

I tried to make a reservation at the library, but they were
completely booked.

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