Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
If I could say a few words, I would be a better public speaker.
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I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was "I bet a cupcake wouldn't have done this to me."
If silly putty would have applied itself, it could have been serious putty.
I would like to say that comforters are better than quilts, but I don't like to make blanket statements.
After dinner last night my wife asked me if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it!
I haven't slept for three days, because that would be too long.
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