Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Always remember to the change the oil in your time machine once every 6 months or 3,000 years.

I just failed a captcha test 3 times in a row. I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I’m a robot.

Life is like a camera—focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, just take another shot!

Sometimes I question my sanity, but the unicorn in the kitchen told me I'm good.

I've been trying to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but it's not easy. Good players are hard to find.

Someone stole my bike, so I called the police, and they found the thief. He was arrested for peddling stolen goods.