Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Yesterday I tried to catch fog in a jar. I mist.

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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy

I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.

I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.

Someone has been stealing the wheels of police cars. Police are working tirelessly to catch them.

According to chemistry alcohol is a solution.

I hear they're making clear Velcro, but I can't see it catching on.

Learn from Pandora's mistake—think outside the box.

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