Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

A large group of Karens is called a Homeowners Association.

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.

Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?

Someone stole my bike, so I called the police, and they found the thief. He was arrested for peddling stolen goods.

Whoever determined a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.

A perfectionist walked into a bar...apparently, the bar wasn't set high enough.