Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Nine year old has disappeared after using mothers moisturizer that makes you look 10 years younger.

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying me.

I have a five-year plan: figure out a plan in five years.

All theses years I thought it was the dryer making my shirts not fit. Now I'm pretty sure it's the refrigerator.

You are the result of 5 billion years of successful evolution. Now act like it.