Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I recently took a pole. 99% of people were annoyed when their tents fell down.

Doctor: "I'd like to talk to you about your weight." Me: "Well, it was 25 minutes, but at least the chairs were comfortable."

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make 1 wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit.

I tried to make a reservation at the library, but they were
completely booked.

Why did they call it "the dark ages"? Because there were so many knights.

The curtains were drawn, but the rest of the room was real.