Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Instead of calling it a "to do" list I've started writing "side quests" at the top to make it seem more fun.
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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy
Telling yourself 'I'll remember that' instead of writing it down. You won't remember that.
How important do you have to be before you're considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Listen... "8 glasses a day" is a just scare tactic used by Big Water to keep us all dependent.
I am writing a book about all the things I should be doing in my life. It's an oughtobiography.
A new study reveals that listening to Queen might be bad for your health. This is due to unusually high mercury content.
I ran out of toilet paper, so I started using the newspaper. The Times are rough.
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