Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person who ticked you off.
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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy
I pulled a wooden shoe out of my toilet last night. Not too bad, it was a small clog.
I snacked on Sodium Chloride and Acetic Acid chips last night.
Trust me, they tasted much better than it sounds.
If I see one more person texting while driving, I am going to roll down my window and throw my beer at them.
I caught my wife cheating last night. Last time I play cards with her.
Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body.
Threw a ball for my dog. Extravagant I know, but he looks great in a tuxedo.
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