Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
The best way to change a woman's mind is to agree with her.
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Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
Whenever I feel all alone in the world, I remind myself that I'm a valued customer at several grocery stores.
My bank balance is a constant reminder that I'm safe from identity theft.
Is the stock market the best place to buy chicken broth?
Always remember to the change the oil in your time machine once every 6 months or 3,000 years.
I asked the waitress for a quickie and she slapped me. The old woman next to me said, "It's pronounced 'quiche', dear."
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