Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I'd tell you to go to hell but I work there and don't want to see you every day.

For years there's been talk about getting rid of the US penny and they finally did it! Some people are just afraid of change.

There was a robbery at the lingerie shop. The robbers gave police the slip...

My friend escaped jail by wrapping his face with a whole roll of paper towels. Now there's a Bounty on his head.