Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Good morning people of my country. Tell me, what are we offended by today?

Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.

Apparently, people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a "gym."

I never thought I'd be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning… I was right!

I hate when homeless people shake their cup of coins at me. It's like yeah, I know you have more money than me — no need to rub it in.