Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.

Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.

My bank balance is a constant reminder that I'm safe from identity theft.

I just lost my mood ring. I am not sure how I feel about this.

I know I don't have to be sarcastic, but the world has given me so much material to work with. I would hate to be wasteful.

Police have arrested the world tongue twister champion.
I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.