Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

People are out mountain climbing, and zip-lining, and I'm just happy I got my leg through my underwear without falling over.

The easiest way to double your money is to fold it over.

It's not a hangover, it's wine flu.

I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I was meant to keep my joke about manholes a secret. Guess I have blown my cover

I haven't tried yoga, but I have tried bending over to pick up my keys. So I am pretty sure I hate yoga.