Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I sent that 'Ancestry' site some info on my family tree. They sent me back a pack of seeds and suggested that I just start over.

People are out mountain climbing, and zip-lining, and I'm just happy I got my leg through my underwear without falling over.

I sat on poison ivy and a four leaf clover. I got a rash of good luck

Great news for insomniacs now that Halloween is over. Only 5 more sleeps till Christmas

When I went out to my car this morning, it was all covered in leaves, so I guess now it's an autumnobile.

I wonder how many animals we tried to ride before we discovered horses we cool with it.