Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I'll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way.

The last thing I want to do is insult you. But it IS on the list.

Today everyone wants instant gratification, no matter how long it takes.

My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.

Laughter is the best medicine... unless you have broken ribs.

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.