Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Embracing the chaos, mostly because the calm was charging a cover fee

Doing nothing is so hard because you never know when you are done.

I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.

I'm afraid if I start working out, I'll be too sexy.

Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.

I sent that 'Ancestry' site some info on my family tree. They sent me back a pack of seeds and suggested that I just start over.