Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

"You Only Live Once" is also an equally compelling reason not to do something extreme or stupid.

Doing nothing is so hard because you never know when you are done.

That awkward moment when a Zombie is looking for brains and it walks right past you...

Before the Internet people thought the cause of stupidity was the lack of access to information? Yeah. It wasn't that.

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.

I am writing a book about all the things I should be doing in my life. It's an oughtobiography.