Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Pro tip: Bakeries don't check ID's so you can buy a birthday cake whenever you want!
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Turns out you can buy a Birthday cake anytime you want and eat it. Nobody checks.
I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was "I bet a cupcake wouldn't have done this to me."
Eat a whole pizza and people say, wow you were hungry! Eat a whole cake and people say, whoa you've got a problem!
Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
I don't understand why I can't lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
Haunted french pancakes give me the crepes.
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