Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Turns out you can buy a Birthday cake anytime you want and eat it. Nobody checks.
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Pro tip: Bakeries don't check ID's so you can buy a birthday cake whenever you want!
I want to open a two dollar store for people who enjoy the finer things.
I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was "I bet a cupcake wouldn't have done this to me."
The last thing I want to do is insult you. But it IS on the list.
Eat a whole pizza and people say, wow you were hungry! Eat a whole cake and people say, whoa you've got a problem!
Today everyone wants instant gratification, no matter how long it takes.
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