Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Turns out you can buy a Birthday cake anytime you want and eat it. Nobody checks.
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Pro tip: Bakeries don't check ID's so you can buy a birthday cake whenever you want!
I lost the volume control knob on my antique radio. I keep checking the Lost and Found to see if anything turns up.
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Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don't want to look like a dork.
Sure, I drank brake fluid. But I can stop anytime!
I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is much more fun.
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