Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.

What if UFOs are just Billionaires from other planets.

Nine year old has disappeared after using mothers moisturizer that makes you look 10 years younger.

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

To be successful in life, have these: backbone, wishbone, and a funny bone.

Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying me.