Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I bought a bottle of shampoo which promised to increase volume. I poured some in my ear and if anything, it did the opposite.

I can do all things through spite, which strengthens me.

There's a certain happiness which comes from being silly.

My boss said "You are late to work for the third time this week. Do you know what that means?" "It's Wednesday?", I replied.

Love means nothing to a tennis player.

I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.